The past few weeks have been dedicated almost entirely to Hamlet. After our class read through, we watched scenes from several different movie versions, and read part of an essay by Philip Edwards. The essay was fascinating, and it introduced me to several different theories of the work (many of which I disagreed with because they seemed too black and white, but some of which I really liked and agreed with). The article helped me get a better (but still not full) understanding of the religious aspect of the play, and gave me valuable insight on the internal moral conflicts of all the characters. I also found the movie scenes to be really helpful in understanding the play. I could see the emotion behind all of the lines, while during the initial read through I felt a disconnect because I was just seeing the words on paper and was too busy trying to understand them to register all the emotion behind them.This helped a lot in my annotating, because I could feel the intensity of different scenes more easily. As I went on annotating, I grew to like the play more as I understood what it was saying, but I also grew to dislike the character of Hamlet a lot. He's sexist, mean, and so self absorbed he reminds me of Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory (the main difference being that Sheldon simply doesn't understand social protocol and isn't quite as flat out mean as Hamlet, while Hamlet understands social protocol and chooses to ignore it). While he has some interesting and very morbid insight, I got sick of his quickness to judge everyone else and his nonstop pessimism.
I'd have to say that my favorite Hamlet movie is the Laurence Olivier version. I think the way the setting has labyrinth-like qualities to resemble Hamlet's mind is brilliant. Also, I'm glad the age difference between Gertrude and Claudius is true to the book, because it makes their relationship seem more disturbing to modern viewers. I like how they bring out the incestuous overtones between Hamlet and his mother, because it highlights Shakespeare's point that isolating people from the rest of the world can force them to turn inward in an unhealthy way. Ophelia's portrayal as more calm and subdued in her mad scene is another aspect of this version that I enjoy. It makes it seem like there is more to her than an innocent flower caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. Her words have more weight to them. I also really appreciate how in this version Gertrude seems to know that the cup is poisoned and sacrifices herself for Hamlet. It gives her some redemption and reminds us that Shakespeare's characters are never just black and white.
I have mixed feelings about the other versions. I'm not a huge fan of the Branagh version. I think Hamlet seems too whiny (I know he's supposed to be pretty whiny, but there are other aspects Branagh could have brought out too). I also think the Claudius is too cold and doesn't seem human-like. I think Laertes does a great job in this version and I understand the character better after seeing all the emotion he puts into it. Tenant does a great job as Hamlet, especially when he is "pretending" to be mad. I also think Claudius in the Tenant version seems much more human and conflicted, and I actually sympathize with him a little. He is my favorite Claudius, and l love how as he is dying he reaches for Gertrude. He really does love her, and it's impossible to write his character off as completely evil. I'm not a big fan of this version's Laertes though. He seems kind of one-dimensional, and he doesn't use much emotion. I also don't like how Fortinbras doesn't come in at the end of the Tenant version. It removes a major political aspect of the play, and turns it into more of a family drama. Overall though, my impression of the Tenant version is positive. I can't say the same for the Jacobi or the Hawke. The Jacobi seems to me more like actors reading lines than actual people's lives, and the Hawke, as Holmes said, is just a cheesy rip off of the Leonardo DiCaprio version of Romeo and Juliet. Overall, I really liked getting to see all these different interpretations, and they helped me in my annotating and understanding of the play.
While I'm glad we got to see the movie clips, I do wish we had more discussion time, because I still have questions and aspects of the book I'd like to discuss, and we have to somehow come up with a theme statement even though we are still trying to rap our heads around the complex messages Shakespeare is trying to send. There's a lot going on in Hamlet. I feel like the other two works we have read in class are much more focused on trying to say one thing, and the characters seem more like devices to help them say it (especially in The American Dream). Hamlet seems to be saying a lot of things and has a complex plot to figure out as well. I think it will be incredibly difficult to put everything Shakespeare is trying to say into one statement. A major aspect of the play involves morality, especially concerning suicide and killing other people for "just"reasons. But there's also some commentary on social classes, and how the royalty/rich seem to be able to do whatever they want, while the rest of the people are completely brainwashed. Also, Shakespeare makes a point of closing his characters off from the rest of the world to show what kind of an effect this can have on people. There's also a complex religious aspect that I'm still trying to wrap my head around. I just have no idea how we will put all this together into one theme statement, and I wish we had more time to discuss.
Another part to our Hamlet studies was a three part forum. I donn't think the forum did much for my understanding of the play, but I really got a lot out of it- especially the NPR story about the prisoners. That made me happy and showed me how powerful literature can be. The "Shakespeare in the Bush" forum annoyed me a little, because I think the speaker could have gotten the "intended" meaning across to the Tiv much more effectively by focusing less on the specifics of the plot and more on the emotion. However, the article made me realize that the Tiv did get meaning out of the story and enjoyed it, so does it really matter that they didn't get the "intended" meaning? As for the Ophelia poem, I didn't get much out of it. I flat out disagreed with it and it didn't really alter my understanding of the play or make me think deeply about literature like the other two did. So I would have been fine if we were only assigned the NPR story and the Shakespeare in the Bush.
Overall, I liked the way our class tackled Hamlet. We were given lots of time and were exposed to lots of different interpretations. I wish we had even more time though, especially for discussion.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Open Prompt Response #4
Prompt (2004 essays): Critic Roland Barthes has said, “Literature is the question minus the answer.” Choose a novel, or play, and, considering Barthes’ observation, write an essay in which you analyze a central question the work raises and the extent to which it offers answers. Explain how the
author’s treatment of this question affects your understanding of the work as a whole. Avoid
mere plot summary.
Student N:
I think this is a nice essay that shows a solid understanding of the novel. It has strong textual evidence, and even works in a quote or two. It gets a little caught up in summary, but it's all relevant to the main point. My one major issue with this essay is that it seems to be addressing multiple questions that the book asks, and it's a little unclear which one is the main point. In the intro, the student mentions the question "Is this the best of all possible worlds"(Student N)? It then proceeds to ask why it wouldn't be. These are two separate questions, and the thesis simply says "the age old question," which can mean a lot of things and isn't specific to either one. Later on in the essay, it asks even more questions, which adds to the confusion. Overall, however, I don't think it detracts too much from the essay, because it seems to focus on the "why" aspect, and still ties in the other questions when talking about how the book answers the main question. I just think it should be a little more clear which is the main question the essay is addressing. One more piece of criticism would be that the reference to "The Prophet" doesn't fit super well and is a little distracting. The essay is strong enough that it doesn't need fluff like that. I agree with the score of an 8 that this essay received.
Student J:
This essay also shows a pretty clear understanding of the book, and it has a clear thesis. It does, however, get a little distracted with summary, and doesn't address its thesis and the prompt as directly and thoroughly as it should. Also, near the end, it switches focus to a completely different question. It starts out addressing the question of "What does it mean to be free"(Student J)? Later, it switches gears to the question of whether or not Huck and Jim's journey is a success. Although these questions are related, the essay should just focus on one question. In general, the essay could be a little more sophisticated and neat, but that's just a minor detail. I agree with a score of a 6, because the essay shows a strong understanding of the book and prompt, but it lacks thorough support and organization.
Student U:
This student starts right off the bat with lots of summary, and continues to summarize throughout the essay. It doesn't clearly address the prompt; it states a question and the book's supposed answer, but it doesn't really get into how book addresses the question. It talks about the novel on almost purely a surface level. Also, there are a lot of syntax and spelling errors, which become quite distracting to the main point. The essay lacks sophistication in diction and tone, and overall it's hard to follow. I agree that it deserves a 3.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Close Reading # 4
You can find this article at http://www.slate.com/articles/life/holidays/2011/12/stephen_tobolowsky_on_discovering_that_santa_isn_t_real_.3.html
I must say, I'm a little skeptical of the profundity of the thoughts the speaker in Stephen Tobolowsky's article, "The Santa Conspiracy," claims to have had as a five year old. He does, however, send a strong, valid message and does a nice job of using DIDLS to get this message across. This article uses diction, syntax, and details to emphasize the importance of the ability to believe.
A lot of the syntax comes into play by helping readers connect with the story more and understand the emotions the speaker is going through, which in turn helps us see the overall point more clearly. For example, when the speaker describes his childhood "monster," he says, "Then I heard his voice behind me. I turned. Nothing. Then Eye spoke."(Toboloswky). He uses short, choppy sentences to create a feeling of suspense. This helps us get into the character of the speaker more. Also, a lot of the sentences start with the word "I". This keeps the focus on the speaker and his experiences, so readers can empathize with him. At one point, the speaker uses repetition of the word "different." This makes the word stick in the readers' brains, and helps them see the roots of the speaker's first "crisis of belief," and again better connect with his emotions. These uses of syntax make the story seem more real and help readers understand the emotions better, so that at the end when the speaker is talking about how the ability to believe is a beautiful thing and how it can help us dig deeper, we can see where he's coming from and why he thinks this. Another strategy the author uses, although I'm not sure if this falls under syntax or not, would be the passing of time. The story starts out by describing events the speaker experienced at age 5, and ends with the speaker's experiences as an adult. This passing of time shows that although the author has had several crisis of beliefs during that time, the ability to believe is always there to guide him and give him hope.
This article's diction is mostly colloquial. This makes it so that a wide audience can understand it, and makes the speaker seem more real and relatable. Also, specific diction is sprinkled throughout, to make the descriptions of the memories seem more real and to pull readers into those memories. Saying things like "Dwayne," instead of "The little boy," or "Daugherty's Drugstore," instead of "the drugstore," puts readers inside the story. This diction, like the syntax, helps make the story more real and easier to empathize with, which makes the point about belief at the end resonate more.
The author didn't have to tell this story of a five year old boy questioning his beliefs in Santa to make his point. He could have spent the whole essay getting deep into the philosophical aspect of believing, and taken the point further. But, if he had done that, the paper would be very interesting, but probably less relatable. By taking all this time to tell this story and including lots of smaller details, the author is showing rather than telling. He is giving readers a real example of how the ability to believe, as well as a crisis of belief has impacted the speaker's life and brought him to the realization he makes as an adult. The author also uses details to connect the story from the speaker's past to the point he's trying to make in the present. For example, he mentions a "night noise" at the end, a reference to one of his childhood fears, which brings the work in a full circle and makes readers think about how that whole story ties into the thoughts on the power of belief the author has in the present.
The author of this story makes extensive use of syntax to tell a story that drives his point that the power to believe is incredibly important, and that it gives people hope.
I must say, I'm a little skeptical of the profundity of the thoughts the speaker in Stephen Tobolowsky's article, "The Santa Conspiracy," claims to have had as a five year old. He does, however, send a strong, valid message and does a nice job of using DIDLS to get this message across. This article uses diction, syntax, and details to emphasize the importance of the ability to believe.
A lot of the syntax comes into play by helping readers connect with the story more and understand the emotions the speaker is going through, which in turn helps us see the overall point more clearly. For example, when the speaker describes his childhood "monster," he says, "Then I heard his voice behind me. I turned. Nothing. Then Eye spoke."(Toboloswky). He uses short, choppy sentences to create a feeling of suspense. This helps us get into the character of the speaker more. Also, a lot of the sentences start with the word "I". This keeps the focus on the speaker and his experiences, so readers can empathize with him. At one point, the speaker uses repetition of the word "different." This makes the word stick in the readers' brains, and helps them see the roots of the speaker's first "crisis of belief," and again better connect with his emotions. These uses of syntax make the story seem more real and help readers understand the emotions better, so that at the end when the speaker is talking about how the ability to believe is a beautiful thing and how it can help us dig deeper, we can see where he's coming from and why he thinks this. Another strategy the author uses, although I'm not sure if this falls under syntax or not, would be the passing of time. The story starts out by describing events the speaker experienced at age 5, and ends with the speaker's experiences as an adult. This passing of time shows that although the author has had several crisis of beliefs during that time, the ability to believe is always there to guide him and give him hope.
This article's diction is mostly colloquial. This makes it so that a wide audience can understand it, and makes the speaker seem more real and relatable. Also, specific diction is sprinkled throughout, to make the descriptions of the memories seem more real and to pull readers into those memories. Saying things like "Dwayne," instead of "The little boy," or "Daugherty's Drugstore," instead of "the drugstore," puts readers inside the story. This diction, like the syntax, helps make the story more real and easier to empathize with, which makes the point about belief at the end resonate more.
The author didn't have to tell this story of a five year old boy questioning his beliefs in Santa to make his point. He could have spent the whole essay getting deep into the philosophical aspect of believing, and taken the point further. But, if he had done that, the paper would be very interesting, but probably less relatable. By taking all this time to tell this story and including lots of smaller details, the author is showing rather than telling. He is giving readers a real example of how the ability to believe, as well as a crisis of belief has impacted the speaker's life and brought him to the realization he makes as an adult. The author also uses details to connect the story from the speaker's past to the point he's trying to make in the present. For example, he mentions a "night noise" at the end, a reference to one of his childhood fears, which brings the work in a full circle and makes readers think about how that whole story ties into the thoughts on the power of belief the author has in the present.
The author of this story makes extensive use of syntax to tell a story that drives his point that the power to believe is incredibly important, and that it gives people hope.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Response to Course Material # 3
The past few weeks have been mostly devoted to our first read through of Shakespeare's Hamlet. I am so glad we did a read through in class, because there was a lot I would not have picked up on if Ms. Holmes hadn't been there to explain some of the aspects that made much more sense in Shakespeare's time, especially when it came to humor and figures of speech. I also really liked how Ms. Holmes gave us some political background, including the part about Hamlet complaining about Gertrude being incestuous and why Shakespeare had to include that so that he wouldn't get in trouble with Queen Elizabeth, whose father's marriage to his previous wife had been annulled on the grounds that it was incestuous. She also cleared up some of the confusion when it came to the fact that Shakespeare had the play take place during Medieval times, but most of the customs and events were much more relevant to Shakespearean times.
The way we handled Hamlet helped me a lot, but there is still so much I have yet to discover and I'm excited to see what we come up with in our class discussions. I'm a little worried about coming up with a theme statement for Hamlet, though. I think it will be even harder than it was for American Dream or Death of A Salesman, and not only because Shakespeare can be hard to decipher for modern day high schoolers. It seems to me that the other two works focus more on social commentary and less on plot than Hamlet, making it easier to pinpoint what they are trying to say. Hamlet has multiple complex plot lines going on along with religious, moral, and social commentary, and I think it will be hard to wrap it all up into one statement.
This system of wrapping everything up into one statement kind of bugs me, because I feel like a lot of works make multiple statements that don't fit together well, and deserve their own separate statements. I don't think it's possible to combine everything an author is trying to say into one or two sentences without leaving out something major, and I don't see the point in trying to do so. That's how I felt when we were trying to come up with a theme statement for Death of a Salesman. After all of our class discussions (some of which were in a unique shark tank (fish bowl) style, which I found both helpful, because it brought more order to our sometimes chaotic discussions, and aggravating, because I would find myself outside the shark tank dying to say something, only to get in, say it, and not know what to say next), we had a list of motifs ten miles long. We eventually came up with a theme statement about how America's conformist society inhibits the pursuit of one's true dreams, which can lead to tragic outcomes. Although I agree with our statement, I feel like it leaves out important aspects of the book about morals and needing to actually work towards your dreams to succeed. I just think it's silly to try to find an all encompassing statement when it's almost inevitable that something will get left out, but, as a friend pointed out to me, this class is supposed to prepare us for the A.P. Exam, so we have to cater to it. I get so much more out of this class that sometimes I forget that.
Outside of Hamlet and Death of a Salesman, we have done some really cool exercises with syntax and mood. We looked at some inverted syntax, and then we created a sentence of our own and inverted it. I thought it was cool how inverting the syntax can force readers to judge the subject of a sentence and only be able to see it in one certain way before they fully know what the subject even its. I also thought the mood exercises were really interesting. Our class debated for a while over whether the image we chose to describe was tranquil or not, and I was surprised at how varying the vibes people got from the image were. To my disappointment, our class had too many differing opinions to get a coherent sentence written the first time we did the exercise, but the second time we were more successful. I like the DIDLS exercises we do in class. They help me in my reading outside of the class. I'm currently on a Stephen King kick, reading It. As I am noticing the techniques King uses I can see how they contribute to the ominous tone of a lot of his work, which is definitely making the book seem creepier, as well as helping me appreciate his unique writing style and get more out of it than just a scare. I noticed how he will sometimes randomly stick a jarring sentence with some disturbing foreshadow in at a less intense moment of the book and then just keep on going as if that one random sentence never happened. The insertion of these dark details at seemingly random times keeps readers on their toes and makes them eager to keep reading. I am able to appreciate this more and get more involved in the book because the DIDLS exercises are training me to read more sharply and look out for the more subtle techniques (I guess the one I pointed out was rather blatant,but I definitely found some more subtle ones). I can't say enough how this class has helped me improve my reading and writing skills inside and outside the classroom
The way we handled Hamlet helped me a lot, but there is still so much I have yet to discover and I'm excited to see what we come up with in our class discussions. I'm a little worried about coming up with a theme statement for Hamlet, though. I think it will be even harder than it was for American Dream or Death of A Salesman, and not only because Shakespeare can be hard to decipher for modern day high schoolers. It seems to me that the other two works focus more on social commentary and less on plot than Hamlet, making it easier to pinpoint what they are trying to say. Hamlet has multiple complex plot lines going on along with religious, moral, and social commentary, and I think it will be hard to wrap it all up into one statement.
This system of wrapping everything up into one statement kind of bugs me, because I feel like a lot of works make multiple statements that don't fit together well, and deserve their own separate statements. I don't think it's possible to combine everything an author is trying to say into one or two sentences without leaving out something major, and I don't see the point in trying to do so. That's how I felt when we were trying to come up with a theme statement for Death of a Salesman. After all of our class discussions (some of which were in a unique shark tank (fish bowl) style, which I found both helpful, because it brought more order to our sometimes chaotic discussions, and aggravating, because I would find myself outside the shark tank dying to say something, only to get in, say it, and not know what to say next), we had a list of motifs ten miles long. We eventually came up with a theme statement about how America's conformist society inhibits the pursuit of one's true dreams, which can lead to tragic outcomes. Although I agree with our statement, I feel like it leaves out important aspects of the book about morals and needing to actually work towards your dreams to succeed. I just think it's silly to try to find an all encompassing statement when it's almost inevitable that something will get left out, but, as a friend pointed out to me, this class is supposed to prepare us for the A.P. Exam, so we have to cater to it. I get so much more out of this class that sometimes I forget that.
Outside of Hamlet and Death of a Salesman, we have done some really cool exercises with syntax and mood. We looked at some inverted syntax, and then we created a sentence of our own and inverted it. I thought it was cool how inverting the syntax can force readers to judge the subject of a sentence and only be able to see it in one certain way before they fully know what the subject even its. I also thought the mood exercises were really interesting. Our class debated for a while over whether the image we chose to describe was tranquil or not, and I was surprised at how varying the vibes people got from the image were. To my disappointment, our class had too many differing opinions to get a coherent sentence written the first time we did the exercise, but the second time we were more successful. I like the DIDLS exercises we do in class. They help me in my reading outside of the class. I'm currently on a Stephen King kick, reading It. As I am noticing the techniques King uses I can see how they contribute to the ominous tone of a lot of his work, which is definitely making the book seem creepier, as well as helping me appreciate his unique writing style and get more out of it than just a scare. I noticed how he will sometimes randomly stick a jarring sentence with some disturbing foreshadow in at a less intense moment of the book and then just keep on going as if that one random sentence never happened. The insertion of these dark details at seemingly random times keeps readers on their toes and makes them eager to keep reading. I am able to appreciate this more and get more involved in the book because the DIDLS exercises are training me to read more sharply and look out for the more subtle techniques (I guess the one I pointed out was rather blatant,but I definitely found some more subtle ones). I can't say enough how this class has helped me improve my reading and writing skills inside and outside the classroom
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Open Prompt Response #3
In response to the 2008 essays, which are responding to this prompt:
In a literary work, a minor character, often known as a foil, possesses
traits that
emphasize, by contrast or comparison, the distinctive characteristics and qualities of the main
character. For example, the ideas or behavior of a minor character might be used to highlight
the weaknesses or strengths of the main character. Choose a novel or play in which a minor
character serves as a foil for the main character. Then write an essay in which you analyze how
the relation between the minor character and the major character illuminates the meaning of
the work.
emphasize, by contrast or comparison, the distinctive characteristics and qualities of the main
character. For example, the ideas or behavior of a minor character might be used to highlight
the weaknesses or strengths of the main character. Choose a novel or play in which a minor
character serves as a foil for the main character. Then write an essay in which you analyze how
the relation between the minor character and the major character illuminates the meaning of
the work.
Essay 3A
This essay has some really nice analysis of The Joy Luck Club, and it shows a thorough understanding of how the relationship between Lindo and Huang highlights the importance of being true to one's self and knowing one's self worth. Other than a little bit of summary at the beginning, this essay does a nice job of focusing on the thesis. I would have liked, however, for this student to be a little more clear on what makes Lindo and Huang foils. The student never directly states the specific qualities of the characters that contrast. It talks about how Huang's oppressive treatment of Lindo help her discover her self worth, but it doesn't clearly explain how they are opposites and the role that their contrasting qualities plays in Lindo's transformation. This is more of a matter of opinion though, as others might think that the contrasting qualities are implied in the description of each character. Also, the essay switches off between past and present tense when describing events in the book, and literature should always be discussed in the present tense. Other than the few details I mentioned above, I think this is a very insightful essay, and it deserves the 8 it received.
Essay 3B
This essay basically summarizes the book and talks about its meaning, and then throws in a few sentences about foils at the end as an after thought. The student doesn't even state a foil until the last paragraph. They also go into a lot of detail about Shug, one of the characters in the book, leading readers to think that Shug is the foil, and then at the very end they say that Celie's father is the foil. The in depth analysis of Shug, though insightful, is not relevant to the prompt. I actually think Shug would work better as a foil, because her contrasting qualities to Celie help Celie learn to find herself and stand up for herself, which is a key message of the book, but since Shug is not the stated foil, there is no need for the writer to go so in depth on her. Also, the essay doesn't say anything on what specific qualities make Celie and her father foils, or how their relationship contributes to the meaning of the play as a whole. Although this essay shows a pretty complete understanding of the book, it fails to even address the prompt until the very end, and does not thoroughly answer the prompt. Also, it refers to events in the book in past tense, and literature should always be referred to in present tense. Based on what I said above, I think this essay deserves lower than the 6 it received. I would give it a 4 or 5.
Essay 3C
I find this essay pretty confusing. First of all, in the first paragraph, it says that Baba is Hassan's father, but in the third paragraph it says that Baba is Hassan's brother. This is a pretty major contradiction, and along with the shows that the writer does not have a completely clear understanding of the book. It also refers to literature in the past tense. This seems to happen in a
lot of the essays... I wonder why the scoring commentary never mentions it. One of the main flaws of this essay is that it talks a lot about characteristics that the stated foils have in common, which implies that the writer does not understand the concept of a foil. The essay does, however, state a foil at the beginning with a thesis, and it stays on track and avoids summarizing pretty well. Overall though, I would say the lack of understanding of what a foil is and the shallow supporting evidence and analysis the book's meaning are pretty overpowering, and I would probably give the essay a 3.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Summary and Analysis of Death of a Salesman
The Basics:
Author: Arthur Miller, wrote the book in 1949
Setting: Most of the play takes place in the Lomans' shabby, run down house and yard in Brooklyn, New York in the late 1940's (just after WWII). The house is crowded by other apartments, cutting it off from all nature. Throughout the play, the main character Willy has several flashbacks to different times in his life, usually when his two sons were in high school. There are also a few scenes that don't take place in the Loman house, including one in a hotel room in Boston, one in Willy's boss's office, and one in a fancy restaurant.
Characters:
Willy Loman: an unsuccessful, high strung salesman in his 60's who is prone to having flashbacks and babbling nonsense from his past. His mind has been diluted by the pressure of conforming to the new, more materialistic American Dream. Throughout the course of the play he spirals further and further out of control.
Linda Loman: Willy's devoted wife who always stands up for him and has unconditional love for him. Linda puts on an act for Willy to make it seem like he is the competent, successful head of the household, which puts Willy in a bubble and ends up hurting him even more.
Biff Loman: Willy's oldest son (mid 30's), who in his high school years shows potential to become the epitome of Willy's idea of success, but he pretty much gives up on it. Throughout the play he is conflicted between the pressure to fulfill Willy's flawed idea of success and the American Dream and his real desires to move out West and start a farm or something similar.
Happy Loman: Willy's youngest son (early 30's), who spends the whole play lying about his life and success in a desperate attempt to get Willy's attention, but ends up getting ignored the whole time.
Charley: The Lomans' next door neighbor who puts in the hard work necessary to truly become successful and fulfill the American Dream. He offers Willy a job and loans him money often.
Bernard: Charley's hard working son who becomes a successful lawyer. Willy considers him to be a nerd.
Ben: Willy's dead older brother who often appears in Willy's visions. He is wealthy and represents the success that Willy wants.
Plot Summary: The play focuses on Willy as his mind deteriorates and he fails to achieve his superficial idea of success: money and popularity without a lot of work. As Willy fails to make sales on business trip after business trip, he lies about his success to Linda and borrows money from Charley to cover up his failure. Linda, who knows that he's not actually making money, is very supportive of him and makes him think he is doing a great job as head of household (even though Linda is actually head of household). Willy often has flashbacks to the time his sons were in high school, where we see a popular, passionate Biff-with a close relationship to Willy-who sharply contrasts the Biff in current time who has given up on becoming a salesman and achieving Willy's dream, and is struggling to find his true passion. When Biff finds out that Willy has been having thoughts of suicide, he decides to try to "straighten out" and become a sporting goods salesman. He plans on asking his old boss, Bill Oliver, for a loan under the impression that Oliver will still remember him as one of his best workers. Willy goes up to his boss to ask for a job that doesn't involve traveling, and ends up getting fired. Biff fails to get the loan from Oliver, who doesn't even remember him, and realizes that he had only been a shipping clerk for Oliver before and that he probably barely ever knew his name. Disheartened, Biff (along with Happy) ditches Willy at a restaurant, leaving him babbling in the bathroom. In another flashback, we see the main turning point between young, full of potential Biff and current, lazy, wandering Biff when Biff walks in on Willy having an affair. Devastated, young Biff fails to finish his last course of high school and proceeds to wander the countryside, trying to start a farm. Willy snaps back to the present and goes home and tries to plant carrot seeds in the back yard. Biff and Happy return home to an angry Linda, who criticizes them for ditching Willy and failing to appreciate him and fulfill his wishes while he works so hard only to fail. Willy comes inside and has a loud confrontation with Biff, who passionately proclaims that he and Willy are insignificant "dimes a dozen." That night, Willy discusses with a hallucination of his brother (whom we have seen before in Willy's daydreams) the idea of committing suicide and ultimately sells the idea to himself on the basis that his death will provide his family with $20,000. The only people at his funeral are his family and Charley. None of the many "friends" Willy had claimed to have show up.
Narrative Voice:
Because this is a play, it is not told from anyone's point of view; however, the author's point of view is reflected in the work. Arthur Miller is sick of the way American society is conforming to the new, materialistic American dream that involves achieving success through popularity rather than hard work. Miller has seen his uncle and cousins suffer from the pressure of this conformity, which strongly influences his work in Death of a Salesman, where this pressure leads to the deterioration and eventual downfall of Willy Loman (who is based off of his uncle).
The tone of this play is ominous; Miller is constantly hinting at the tragic ending-even in the title. There is also some mockery in the tone, as Miller criticizes Willy for being so close minded-ly intent on achieving the materialistic new American Dream. Most of the imagery Miller uses involves the setting. Miller crams the Loman house among a ton of other houses and apartments, blocking it off from all nature. This imagery of nothing but tall, dark, shabby buildings suffocating Willy's house shows the audience how trapped he is in this conformist society, unable to escape to the freedom of nature. Symbolism plays a major part in Miller's work. One of the main symbols in the play is seeds. The seeds represent the legacy that Willy so badly wants to leave. His failure to successfully plant the seeds represents his failure to achieve his idea of success, which is based off of popularity. Another symbol in the work is the obsession with brand names. The brand names of the car, fridge, etc., are constantly brought up, representing the materialistic attitude that Miller feels much of society has taken on. Diamonds are also brought up a lot, especially by Ben. They represent the money aspect of the materialistic success Willy is trying to achieve. The tape recorder is also important. Its ability to play back the past perfectly brings out the flawed nature of Willy's memory, and forces him to recognize his flaws. Biff symbolizes the fight between true dreams and conformity through his constant battle between becoming a salesman and going out West and performing physical labor. Bernard represents the old American Dream, because he achieves his success through hard work, not popularity. All of this symbolism helps Miller relate the work to the rest of society.
Quotes:
"Biff: Pop! I'm a dime a dozen, and so are you!"(Miller 105).
This line feels very climactic, and it adds to the tragedy of the ending. Willy spends the entire play building himself and his sons up (he convinces himself that he is super popular and he even convinces Biff that he was one of Bill Oliver's favorites), and this line completely shatters that. The fact that Willy refuses to accept this line makes it even more sad.
"Biff: Will you take that phony dream and burn it before something happens?"(Miller 106)
I feel like this line sums up a lot of what Miller is trying to say. Willy is conforming to this superficial American Dream, and it's threatening to lead to tragic consequences. This quote fits right in with my theme statement, and provides powerful foreshadowing for events soon to come.
Theme Statement: Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman comments that America’s conformist society inhibits the pursuits of one’s dreams which can lead to tragic outcomes.
Explanation: Willy Loman spends the entirety of the play stuck on the idea that the only way to achieve success is by being will liked. This has been drilled into his head by society, and it's impossible for him to see it any other way. A few times throughout the play, Willy mentions some of his carpentry work, and it becomes apparent that carpentry is his true passion and calling. He refuses, however, to even consider going into carpentry, because he is so intent on achieving his (and according to Miller American society's) idea of success. Because Willy conforms to American society's materialistic American dream based on popularity rather than hard work, he fails to achieve his true dream, which most likely involves carpentry. His failure to achieve his true dream leads to tragic consequences, such as his family falling apart due to his failure to fulfill his responsibilities to them, and eventually his death. Although I wouldn't say this play is a true allegory, the symbolism and imagery I mentioned above help relate this story and its morals to American society.
Author: Arthur Miller, wrote the book in 1949
Setting: Most of the play takes place in the Lomans' shabby, run down house and yard in Brooklyn, New York in the late 1940's (just after WWII). The house is crowded by other apartments, cutting it off from all nature. Throughout the play, the main character Willy has several flashbacks to different times in his life, usually when his two sons were in high school. There are also a few scenes that don't take place in the Loman house, including one in a hotel room in Boston, one in Willy's boss's office, and one in a fancy restaurant.
Characters:
Willy Loman: an unsuccessful, high strung salesman in his 60's who is prone to having flashbacks and babbling nonsense from his past. His mind has been diluted by the pressure of conforming to the new, more materialistic American Dream. Throughout the course of the play he spirals further and further out of control.
Linda Loman: Willy's devoted wife who always stands up for him and has unconditional love for him. Linda puts on an act for Willy to make it seem like he is the competent, successful head of the household, which puts Willy in a bubble and ends up hurting him even more.
Biff Loman: Willy's oldest son (mid 30's), who in his high school years shows potential to become the epitome of Willy's idea of success, but he pretty much gives up on it. Throughout the play he is conflicted between the pressure to fulfill Willy's flawed idea of success and the American Dream and his real desires to move out West and start a farm or something similar.
Happy Loman: Willy's youngest son (early 30's), who spends the whole play lying about his life and success in a desperate attempt to get Willy's attention, but ends up getting ignored the whole time.
Charley: The Lomans' next door neighbor who puts in the hard work necessary to truly become successful and fulfill the American Dream. He offers Willy a job and loans him money often.
Bernard: Charley's hard working son who becomes a successful lawyer. Willy considers him to be a nerd.
Ben: Willy's dead older brother who often appears in Willy's visions. He is wealthy and represents the success that Willy wants.
Plot Summary: The play focuses on Willy as his mind deteriorates and he fails to achieve his superficial idea of success: money and popularity without a lot of work. As Willy fails to make sales on business trip after business trip, he lies about his success to Linda and borrows money from Charley to cover up his failure. Linda, who knows that he's not actually making money, is very supportive of him and makes him think he is doing a great job as head of household (even though Linda is actually head of household). Willy often has flashbacks to the time his sons were in high school, where we see a popular, passionate Biff-with a close relationship to Willy-who sharply contrasts the Biff in current time who has given up on becoming a salesman and achieving Willy's dream, and is struggling to find his true passion. When Biff finds out that Willy has been having thoughts of suicide, he decides to try to "straighten out" and become a sporting goods salesman. He plans on asking his old boss, Bill Oliver, for a loan under the impression that Oliver will still remember him as one of his best workers. Willy goes up to his boss to ask for a job that doesn't involve traveling, and ends up getting fired. Biff fails to get the loan from Oliver, who doesn't even remember him, and realizes that he had only been a shipping clerk for Oliver before and that he probably barely ever knew his name. Disheartened, Biff (along with Happy) ditches Willy at a restaurant, leaving him babbling in the bathroom. In another flashback, we see the main turning point between young, full of potential Biff and current, lazy, wandering Biff when Biff walks in on Willy having an affair. Devastated, young Biff fails to finish his last course of high school and proceeds to wander the countryside, trying to start a farm. Willy snaps back to the present and goes home and tries to plant carrot seeds in the back yard. Biff and Happy return home to an angry Linda, who criticizes them for ditching Willy and failing to appreciate him and fulfill his wishes while he works so hard only to fail. Willy comes inside and has a loud confrontation with Biff, who passionately proclaims that he and Willy are insignificant "dimes a dozen." That night, Willy discusses with a hallucination of his brother (whom we have seen before in Willy's daydreams) the idea of committing suicide and ultimately sells the idea to himself on the basis that his death will provide his family with $20,000. The only people at his funeral are his family and Charley. None of the many "friends" Willy had claimed to have show up.
Narrative Voice:
Because this is a play, it is not told from anyone's point of view; however, the author's point of view is reflected in the work. Arthur Miller is sick of the way American society is conforming to the new, materialistic American dream that involves achieving success through popularity rather than hard work. Miller has seen his uncle and cousins suffer from the pressure of this conformity, which strongly influences his work in Death of a Salesman, where this pressure leads to the deterioration and eventual downfall of Willy Loman (who is based off of his uncle).
The tone of this play is ominous; Miller is constantly hinting at the tragic ending-even in the title. There is also some mockery in the tone, as Miller criticizes Willy for being so close minded-ly intent on achieving the materialistic new American Dream. Most of the imagery Miller uses involves the setting. Miller crams the Loman house among a ton of other houses and apartments, blocking it off from all nature. This imagery of nothing but tall, dark, shabby buildings suffocating Willy's house shows the audience how trapped he is in this conformist society, unable to escape to the freedom of nature. Symbolism plays a major part in Miller's work. One of the main symbols in the play is seeds. The seeds represent the legacy that Willy so badly wants to leave. His failure to successfully plant the seeds represents his failure to achieve his idea of success, which is based off of popularity. Another symbol in the work is the obsession with brand names. The brand names of the car, fridge, etc., are constantly brought up, representing the materialistic attitude that Miller feels much of society has taken on. Diamonds are also brought up a lot, especially by Ben. They represent the money aspect of the materialistic success Willy is trying to achieve. The tape recorder is also important. Its ability to play back the past perfectly brings out the flawed nature of Willy's memory, and forces him to recognize his flaws. Biff symbolizes the fight between true dreams and conformity through his constant battle between becoming a salesman and going out West and performing physical labor. Bernard represents the old American Dream, because he achieves his success through hard work, not popularity. All of this symbolism helps Miller relate the work to the rest of society.
Quotes:
"Biff: Pop! I'm a dime a dozen, and so are you!"(Miller 105).
This line feels very climactic, and it adds to the tragedy of the ending. Willy spends the entire play building himself and his sons up (he convinces himself that he is super popular and he even convinces Biff that he was one of Bill Oliver's favorites), and this line completely shatters that. The fact that Willy refuses to accept this line makes it even more sad.
"Biff: Will you take that phony dream and burn it before something happens?"(Miller 106)
I feel like this line sums up a lot of what Miller is trying to say. Willy is conforming to this superficial American Dream, and it's threatening to lead to tragic consequences. This quote fits right in with my theme statement, and provides powerful foreshadowing for events soon to come.
Theme Statement: Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman comments that America’s conformist society inhibits the pursuits of one’s dreams which can lead to tragic outcomes.
Explanation: Willy Loman spends the entirety of the play stuck on the idea that the only way to achieve success is by being will liked. This has been drilled into his head by society, and it's impossible for him to see it any other way. A few times throughout the play, Willy mentions some of his carpentry work, and it becomes apparent that carpentry is his true passion and calling. He refuses, however, to even consider going into carpentry, because he is so intent on achieving his (and according to Miller American society's) idea of success. Because Willy conforms to American society's materialistic American dream based on popularity rather than hard work, he fails to achieve his true dream, which most likely involves carpentry. His failure to achieve his true dream leads to tragic consequences, such as his family falling apart due to his failure to fulfill his responsibilities to them, and eventually his death. Although I wouldn't say this play is a true allegory, the symbolism and imagery I mentioned above help relate this story and its morals to American society.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Close reading #3
You can find this article at http://www.pifmagazine.com/2012/01/my-father-stood-loading-his-gun/
Lucas Dean Fiser's, "My Father Stood Loading His Gun," makes the point that it's important to not shelter people and to let them be exposed to hardship, but it's also important to show love along the way to help them through. As Fiser takes us through a fourteen year old's first person account of his traumatic experience witnessing his suffering dog getting put down, we see how his use of details, imagery, and language come together to make this point.
The details Fiser chooses to add in this story really help us understand actions of the speaker's father. The dark details Fiser includes about the father's past and how his father was abusive show us how he was too un-sheltered, to the point where he wasn't given the love he needed and he was only experiencing the hurt. The father is stronger now because of this, but he is scarred. We see how the speaker's father also wants his son to be strong and not to be too sheltered when he says "You need to see this... ...you need to see how things are handled"(Fiser). The author also includes details of the father whispering lovingly into the ears of both the speaker's mother and the dog. This shows us that the father still finds it important to show love and compassion, and that he is not putting the dog down just to be cruel. The details Fiser chooses to include show us how it's important to let people be exposed to the hard parts of life but to still provide love to help them get through.
A lot of the imagery of this peace centers around the scars on the fathers arms. Images of purple scars make the audience think of pain, and how some pain can never be forgotten. The line near the end where Fiser says, "His purple burns were the only color in the landscape" forces readers to think about the burns and how this is a moment of pure pain for the speaker. The sadness of knowing that something like this has to be done, even if it will stop the dog's suffering is quite traumatic for a fourteen year old. This image of just the scars shows readers that this moment will stay with the speaker forever, and that it will become part of the speaker like the scars from the speaker's father became part of him. Pain is a part of life that needs to happen sometimes. Some of the other imagery, however, show us how the speaker will still be shown love to help him through this difficult time. Snow is brought up a lot throughout the story. The way the snow is described as lightly falling flakes and the way the dog dies in a blanket of snow makes it seem peaceful and loving, like it's comforting the characters in their hard time and it's caressing the dog into sleep. The contrasting images of the harsh scars and the constant but loving snow show readers love should always be there, especially in hard times.
The lack of figurative language in this piece is powerful and further adds to the point Fiser is trying to make. With a few exceptions such as the personification of the pen the sixth paragraph, this story uses all literal language. This makes the work seem more real and forces readers to see the raw pain of this experience on their own. The author doesn't want to shelter readers with the aid of figurative the same way the speaker's father doesn't want to shelter the speaker. He wants readers to feel the raw emotion of the piece for what it is.
Lucas Dean Fiser's, "My Father Stood Loading His Gun," makes the point that it's important to not shelter people and to let them be exposed to hardship, but it's also important to show love along the way to help them through. As Fiser takes us through a fourteen year old's first person account of his traumatic experience witnessing his suffering dog getting put down, we see how his use of details, imagery, and language come together to make this point.
The details Fiser chooses to add in this story really help us understand actions of the speaker's father. The dark details Fiser includes about the father's past and how his father was abusive show us how he was too un-sheltered, to the point where he wasn't given the love he needed and he was only experiencing the hurt. The father is stronger now because of this, but he is scarred. We see how the speaker's father also wants his son to be strong and not to be too sheltered when he says "You need to see this... ...you need to see how things are handled"(Fiser). The author also includes details of the father whispering lovingly into the ears of both the speaker's mother and the dog. This shows us that the father still finds it important to show love and compassion, and that he is not putting the dog down just to be cruel. The details Fiser chooses to include show us how it's important to let people be exposed to the hard parts of life but to still provide love to help them get through.
A lot of the imagery of this peace centers around the scars on the fathers arms. Images of purple scars make the audience think of pain, and how some pain can never be forgotten. The line near the end where Fiser says, "His purple burns were the only color in the landscape" forces readers to think about the burns and how this is a moment of pure pain for the speaker. The sadness of knowing that something like this has to be done, even if it will stop the dog's suffering is quite traumatic for a fourteen year old. This image of just the scars shows readers that this moment will stay with the speaker forever, and that it will become part of the speaker like the scars from the speaker's father became part of him. Pain is a part of life that needs to happen sometimes. Some of the other imagery, however, show us how the speaker will still be shown love to help him through this difficult time. Snow is brought up a lot throughout the story. The way the snow is described as lightly falling flakes and the way the dog dies in a blanket of snow makes it seem peaceful and loving, like it's comforting the characters in their hard time and it's caressing the dog into sleep. The contrasting images of the harsh scars and the constant but loving snow show readers love should always be there, especially in hard times.
The lack of figurative language in this piece is powerful and further adds to the point Fiser is trying to make. With a few exceptions such as the personification of the pen the sixth paragraph, this story uses all literal language. This makes the work seem more real and forces readers to see the raw pain of this experience on their own. The author doesn't want to shelter readers with the aid of figurative the same way the speaker's father doesn't want to shelter the speaker. He wants readers to feel the raw emotion of the piece for what it is.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Response to Course Material # 2
This class has once again challenged me and helped me grow as a reader and a writer. Using the movie version of Death of a Salesman as our first "read through," in some ways made my analysis of the work easier (it was more clear whether Willy was in current time or having flash backs), and in some ways made it harder (I was seeing the words actually written down for the first time as I was annotating). I did like this method because it made the annotating a little more exciting in that I felt like I made more discoveries of patterns and themes in the close read because I had only ever seen the work before on a screen. The movie helped clear up a lot of plot confusion, yet it allowed me to feel like I was digging deeper as I read the text. I liked having class discussions before and after the close reading, because I felt like I had a lot more to share after the close reading and was excited to discuss with my peers. I also liked how we read Death of a Salesman right after The American Dream, because there were a lot of parallels. For example, Linda and Grandma are similar in that both put on acts to make them seem less competent than they are. I also saw in both works a motif of not being able to "get satisfaction". In The American Dream, Mommy has the episode with the hats and Mommy and Daddy are so unsatisfied with their "Bumble" that they mutilate and eventually kill it. In Death of a Salesman, Willy makes several comments about the refrigerator breaking again as soon as its fixed. I find it interesting that although both works have this motif, Arthur uses it to actually make the point that you can't get satisfaction, while Albee uses it to mock the middle and upper classes and criticize their materialism. Being able to compare and contrast both of these works helped me get a better understanding of each of them.
Overall, I like the independence we were given as a class to come up with ideas about Death of a Salesman on our own. We weren't given any articles until after our close read several discussions after the close read. Also, I liked how these article seemed to be more discussion-provoking in that we were given two very different viewpoints on whether or not Death of a Salesman is a tragedy, and we were given some varying definitions of what a tragedy is. Getting both sides of the argument helped everyone in the class pick a side for themselves, which provoked more discussion and debate. I do hope that we discuss this topic more though, because I left the classroom pretty confused. I had always thought a tragedy was defined by the emotions it provokes in the audience, but our discussion made me start to think that a work being tragic doesn't necessarily make it a tragedy, and that there are certain requirements it has to meet in order to be a tragedy in a literary sense. I am having a hard time figuring out what a tragedy actually is, because it seems to be pretty subjective and it's changing quite often. This makes it hard for me to decide whether or not Death of a Salesman is a tragedy. So, although I like how much freedom our class was given in discussing this topic, I hope we are given the chance to discuss further and hopefully clear some things up.
Another big concept we have been working on in class is being able to use the motifs of a work to come up with a theme statement describing the author's intent in writing the work. This is something I struggle with, because it's hard to come up with a statement that is support by all aspects of the work. The day our class came up with our theme statement helped me a lot, because I was able to go through the process with the help of my classmates and Ms. Holmes. This made it easier to come up with a theme statement for "Promises Like Pie Crust", because I had more experience and knew more strategies. This also helped me outside of the classroom. We had a day in choir where we sat down and discussed the meaning of two of our pieces, which were both originally poems. One was Shakespeare's "O Mistress Mine," and the other was May Swenson's "I will be Earth." I was able to use the strategies I learned in lit class to come up with an overall idea of the meaning of the pieces. I looked at the DIDLS ("I Will be Earth" is loaded with imagery, and uses some interesting diction, which can be seen in lines like "Burn radiant love,/Born scorpion need"(Swenson)) to come up with motifs and bigger ideas, which led me to the overall meanings. This allowed me to relate the poems to other works. For example, "O Mistress Mine" is quite similar to Robert Herrick's "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time," which I read in Brit Lit last year. I like how I can apply what I'm learning in lit class to other situations, and I feel like this class is enriching my experience as a reader.
Overall, I like the independence we were given as a class to come up with ideas about Death of a Salesman on our own. We weren't given any articles until after our close read several discussions after the close read. Also, I liked how these article seemed to be more discussion-provoking in that we were given two very different viewpoints on whether or not Death of a Salesman is a tragedy, and we were given some varying definitions of what a tragedy is. Getting both sides of the argument helped everyone in the class pick a side for themselves, which provoked more discussion and debate. I do hope that we discuss this topic more though, because I left the classroom pretty confused. I had always thought a tragedy was defined by the emotions it provokes in the audience, but our discussion made me start to think that a work being tragic doesn't necessarily make it a tragedy, and that there are certain requirements it has to meet in order to be a tragedy in a literary sense. I am having a hard time figuring out what a tragedy actually is, because it seems to be pretty subjective and it's changing quite often. This makes it hard for me to decide whether or not Death of a Salesman is a tragedy. So, although I like how much freedom our class was given in discussing this topic, I hope we are given the chance to discuss further and hopefully clear some things up.
Another big concept we have been working on in class is being able to use the motifs of a work to come up with a theme statement describing the author's intent in writing the work. This is something I struggle with, because it's hard to come up with a statement that is support by all aspects of the work. The day our class came up with our theme statement helped me a lot, because I was able to go through the process with the help of my classmates and Ms. Holmes. This made it easier to come up with a theme statement for "Promises Like Pie Crust", because I had more experience and knew more strategies. This also helped me outside of the classroom. We had a day in choir where we sat down and discussed the meaning of two of our pieces, which were both originally poems. One was Shakespeare's "O Mistress Mine," and the other was May Swenson's "I will be Earth." I was able to use the strategies I learned in lit class to come up with an overall idea of the meaning of the pieces. I looked at the DIDLS ("I Will be Earth" is loaded with imagery, and uses some interesting diction, which can be seen in lines like "Burn radiant love,/Born scorpion need"(Swenson)) to come up with motifs and bigger ideas, which led me to the overall meanings. This allowed me to relate the poems to other works. For example, "O Mistress Mine" is quite similar to Robert Herrick's "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time," which I read in Brit Lit last year. I like how I can apply what I'm learning in lit class to other situations, and I feel like this class is enriching my experience as a reader.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Open Prompt Response #2
In response to the 2003 essays, which are responding to this prompt:
According to critic Northrop Frye, “Tragic heroes are so much
the highest points in their
human landscape that they seem the inevitable conductors of the power about them, great
trees more likely to be struck by lightning than a clump of grass. Conductors may of course be
instruments as well as victims of the divisive lightning.” Select a novel or play in which a tragic
figure functions as an instrument of the suffering of others. Then write an essay in which you
explain how the suffering brought upon others by that figure contributes to the tragic vision of
the work as a whole.
human landscape that they seem the inevitable conductors of the power about them, great
trees more likely to be struck by lightning than a clump of grass. Conductors may of course be
instruments as well as victims of the divisive lightning.” Select a novel or play in which a tragic
figure functions as an instrument of the suffering of others. Then write an essay in which you
explain how the suffering brought upon others by that figure contributes to the tragic vision of
the work as a whole.
Student LLLL:
I am pretty impressed with this essay. I think it does a nice job of incorporating ways that the author uses DIDLS to create effects and meanings. For example, the student describes the imagery of Gatsby reaching across the lake, and how it makes him seem pathetic, which contributes to the idea that he is tortured and is a tragic hero. I also think that this essay does a nice job including quotes and paraphrases from the book, which can be difficult considering the essay is all based off of the student's memory of the work. If I were to give this student one piece of advice, it would be to put the paragraph about how Gatsby's tragedies bring the other characters down directly after the first paragraph, because that is addressing the heart of the thesis.The thesis says to talk about how the tragic hero's suffering affects others,and how that relates to the tragic vision as a whole. This author sort of starts by describing one aspect of the tragic vision, which is how tortured Gatsby is,and then describes how Gatsby acts as an instrument of suffering, and then talks about another aspect of the tragic vision as a whole,which is the fall of the roaring twenties. This makes it a little confusing, but overall I don't think it detracts majorly from the essay. The fact that I can get this nit-picky means the essay is very well written and deserves the score of a 9 that it received.
Student C:
I think that this essay was rated a little too high (it received a 7). The entire second paragraph is basically a far-too-in-depth summary of the plot. Although it does incorporate aspects of the thesis such as duty and vanity, it seems to get distracted from the main point of the prompt which is the tragedy of the hero and how he/she contributes to the suffering of others. I also found some of the more technical issues to be very distracting. For example, the student switches from present tense to past tense while summarizing the plot. The tense should be kept constant and should always be present when discussing literature.I also found the Hamlet reference to be quite random and to have no contribution to the main point of the essay. Overall, although the student seems to show a clear understanding of the prompt, he/she gets too caught up in plot summary and has glaring technical errors that distract the reader from the point the essay is trying to argue. I probably would have rated it a 6.
Student FF:
I feel like I basically just read the entire novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest after reading this essay. It is much more a summary of the plot than an analysis of the tragic hero and his affect on other characters. The student mentions the tragedy of the characters and the book at the end of the essay almost as an after thought. Also, like the scoring commentary says, I think that McMurphy has a positive impact on most of the other characters, especially Chief Bromden. He empowers the other characters to stand up for themselves and act out against the harsh conditions of the mental hospital. The book ends with Chief Bromden breaking out of the mental hospital and becoming free, which I think is very optimistic. Before McMurphy comes, Bromden never even talks, and everyone assumes he is deaf. I think that McMurphy's presence has instigated major changes that will improve the lives of the other patients. Overall, I do not think there is enough evidence to support the author's claim, and there is way too much evidence refuting it. That along with the poor organization and distraction from the thesis I think make this essay deserve the 5 it received.
Student C:
I think that this essay was rated a little too high (it received a 7). The entire second paragraph is basically a far-too-in-depth summary of the plot. Although it does incorporate aspects of the thesis such as duty and vanity, it seems to get distracted from the main point of the prompt which is the tragedy of the hero and how he/she contributes to the suffering of others. I also found some of the more technical issues to be very distracting. For example, the student switches from present tense to past tense while summarizing the plot. The tense should be kept constant and should always be present when discussing literature.I also found the Hamlet reference to be quite random and to have no contribution to the main point of the essay. Overall, although the student seems to show a clear understanding of the prompt, he/she gets too caught up in plot summary and has glaring technical errors that distract the reader from the point the essay is trying to argue. I probably would have rated it a 6.
Student FF:
I feel like I basically just read the entire novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest after reading this essay. It is much more a summary of the plot than an analysis of the tragic hero and his affect on other characters. The student mentions the tragedy of the characters and the book at the end of the essay almost as an after thought. Also, like the scoring commentary says, I think that McMurphy has a positive impact on most of the other characters, especially Chief Bromden. He empowers the other characters to stand up for themselves and act out against the harsh conditions of the mental hospital. The book ends with Chief Bromden breaking out of the mental hospital and becoming free, which I think is very optimistic. Before McMurphy comes, Bromden never even talks, and everyone assumes he is deaf. I think that McMurphy's presence has instigated major changes that will improve the lives of the other patients. Overall, I do not think there is enough evidence to support the author's claim, and there is way too much evidence refuting it. That along with the poor organization and distraction from the thesis I think make this essay deserve the 5 it received.
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